• 你好2012

    2012-01-20

    2012像一个里程碑或纪念碑一般地立在那里,从1月到12月底,只需走过12层台阶,就可以登高望远,瞻仰过去。纪念碑上刻着的是死去的时间。我觉得有末世情结的人,有点悲伤也十分悲壮。悲伤是,如果期望真的有末日,并在末日前疯狂地不受礼教、世俗、社会及生存压力的束缚去兑现压抑在心里已久的“阴谋”,那么说明平日的生活一定没有live to the fullest。不过其实有多少人,真的可以说每天都过得没有遗憾呢。未了的夙愿是让生活充满渴望和动力的源泉之一吧。悲壮是,在末日前发一下疯,用掉之前一直存的钱去一直想去的地方旅行、豪迈的喝一下酒等等,多么有壮士一去不复返的悲壮和豪情。我听过太多人说,啊?末日啊。末日前做什么?该干嘛还干嘛。叹气。这究竟是淡定还是太缺乏想象力和生活的激情。我觉得我对这样的人多少有点恨铁不成钢的怨气。所以,我就是那种有着末日情结悲伤又悲壮的人吧?正解。

    于是,前几天我在笔记本上列出了我列计划的历史上最详细的年度计划......从生活、工作、学习到健康、爱情和旅行。一句话简言之,2012年要多读书,多练习,多运动,多旅行,多看电影,多恋爱。

    2011年过得有太多drama。感情上风起云涌,事业上挑战不断。但是如今看来,心中有太多的感恩。终于获得经济独立,于是乎有了真正人格自由的爽气。觉得自己是一个方方面面都可以有承担的姑娘了。从校园到社会,发现女孩子在外面打拼除了智力、能力还要有调试自己的心力。追求独特和品质的人生,也是需要慧根的啊。像蚌一样,消化掉生活中的突兀和粗粝,运气好,可以意外获得一枚珍珠。然后可以自由自信的做自己。每个人或许都觉得自己并非池中之物。也许是你的才华、能力、美貌、气质、价值观、思想如此卓尔不群,你不屑与池中其他生物共享一方清澈。觉得既不是荷花,也不是睡莲。不是金鱼藻也非细叶满江红。但其实也许你只是池中生物的所有特点特征的一个子集。你的这个子集独一无二,但仍然可以在池中汲取养分,直到有一天,可以不再生长在池里。而是在一汪宽广的湖里,如果不是“食”淡水的,甚至是在一片辽阔的海里。我记得以前在听fresh air采访一位作家的时候,他说他现在可以be comfortable in my own skin even that skin is ragged and sun burnt. 我很喜欢这句话,这是经过历练后,对自己的认可和喜爱,和曾经的自己,现在的自己以及未来的自己把手言欢。只有这样,才能找到内心的平静和喜悦。

     

  • 最近春光明媚,只可惜书稿、论文、期末考试等等在身,估计要奋斗到毕业才能摆脱宅女的生活了。希望一切顺利,也不枉费我坐在窗前眼馋春色,感叹其实没有人喜欢不断鞭笞自己的,只是we have to .今天看到了这份问卷调查。普鲁斯特13岁和20岁的时候分别做的时候,虽然问题相似,可时隔7年,答案却大为不同。医学上说人体内的细胞平均每7年重生一次,也就是说每7年我们都得到一次新生,literally and physically.那么再加上岁月历练、人世变迁,是不是意味着,我们总能有一切归零重新开始的机会呢?轻装上阵的感觉一定很好吧?可是身上可以真的没有包袱吗?

    我心痒痒,决定也做一做这个古老的被有人称作“臭名昭著的”问卷。其实不用等到7年以后,不妨明年再来回顾,即可对比,一年之中自己的变化吧。

    Your most marked characteristic?
    Caring, sociable
    What do you most value in your friends?
    Integrity , whom I can have a great time talking to
    What is your principle defect?
    When I'm not 100% sure, I tend to procrastinate
    What to your mind would be the greatest of misfortunes?
    Loss of hope
    What would you like to be?
    The best version of myself
    What is your favorite color?
    green
    What is your favorite flower?
    Anything that looks vigorous, striving
    What is your favorite bird?
    Anything that looks elegant
    Who are your favorite prose writers?
    Russel Bernard ,Karen Gillece
    Who are your favorite poets?
    haven't found him/her yet
    Who are your heroes in real life?
    Nelson Mandela
    Who are your favorite heroines of history?
    yet to be discovered , but I have goddesses .... if that counts...
    What are your favorite names?
    Meredith coz it sounds pretty
    What is it you most dislike?
    bad characters
    What historical figures do you most despise?
    haven't even known enough historical figures yet
    What event in military history do you most admire?
    The fall of the Berlin Wall
    What natural gift would you most like to possess?
    Good health, Undistracted will power, talents of art
    How would you like to die?
    in the arms of the man I've loved for my whole life and maybe near the fireplace  ?
    What is your present state of mind?
    a bit edgy, worried about my future and love life, but still hopeful and trying to make each day count
    What is your motto?
    Right now , thats don't compete with anybody, compete with yourself. Love yourself and your family.